Today's Toons 1/1/18

[pookie18]

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
The Gallup Poll shows Democrats and Republicans more divided than ever on Donald Trump, taxes, and immigration. It has turned this country into the United Tourette's of America. We don't need taxes to balance the budget and pay off the national debt, all we need is a swear jar on Facebook.
 
UN Ambassador Nikki Haley announced the U.S. will cut its money to the U.N. by two hundred eighty billion dollars. It could cripple the United Nations and force it to move to Geneva. Fish have to swim, birds have to fly, and Trump has to get his hands on that high-rise property on the East River.
 
Hillary Clinton was voted Most Admired Woman in America for the record twenty-second time in the Gallup Poll. Eleanor Roosevelt won it the second-most times and the third most was Jackie Kennedy. Apparently to win the award, you must marry a great Democrat and then look the other way.
 
The National Arboretum Commission ordered the removal of the Jackson Magnolia tree from the White House lawn after nearly two centuries. You could see the logic behind the bureaucracy's order. The tree was planted by the slave owner Andrew Jackson, so it's a racist plant and it's got to go.
 
Israel will name a Jerusalem train station after President Trump calling it Trump station. His popularity in Israel puts Jewish Democrats in a pickle that even Mel Brooks couldn't make up. For the first time in the history of comedy, it could be considered anti-Semitic to make fun of a German.
 
-- Argus Hamilton