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Author Topic: Today's Toons 12/26/17  (Read 231 times)
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« on: December 26, 2017, 06:18:01 am »

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:
President Trump stood by a ten foot pile of typewriter paper full of government regulations on Thursday to show what he's trying to eliminate. Enduring the bureaucrats is brutal. Government regulators are like my Christmas lights, half of them don't work and the other half aren't that bright.
Gloria Allred's daughter, lawyer Lisa Bloom, was reported Friday to have paid women to come forward against Trump. The media needs to calm down. It is NOT evidence of past sex misconduct when TV reporters see Judge Roy Moore emerge from 7-Eleven carrying a sack full of Little Debbie's.
NBC faced more sexual misconduct revelations about NBC's on-air news hosts Sunday. It was reported NBC paid tens of thousands of dollars due to complaints of unwanted sexual advances by Chris Matthews. The big surprise is that none of these complaints were made by President Obama.
President Trump expressed cautious optimism about his chances of getting the tax cuts passed this week. Comedians are naturally cynical. Am I the only one who believes that John McCain would fake his own death to keep from casting the deciding vote to give Trump a victory on anything?
President Trump saw the Churchill movie The Darkest Hour Monday. It inspired him. Trump declared that we shall fight the mainstream media on Twitter, we shall fight them on Snapchat, we shall fight them on Facebook we shall fight them on Instagram, we shall never ever, ever surrender.
President Trump on Monday laid out his National Defense Strategy that will increase military spending to stand down China and Russia, and then back down North Korea and finish destroying radical Islam. Right now, al-Qaeda is kicking itself for not sending a third plane into Trump Tower.
CBS Late Show's host Stephen Colbert sold Showtime a ten-episode animated TV series that makes fun of Trump that's called Our Cartoon President. It's sure to anger Republicans. There's already an animated TV series about Trump that makes fun of Democrats, it's called the Roadrunner.
Congress passed the GOP tax cuts Wednesday which also ended the Obamacare mandates and opened oil drilling on the Alaskan North Slope. It gave Donald Trump the first big victory of his presidency. You had to watch it on Fox News, because CNN and MSNBC went dark and played Wagner.
President Trump looked happily confused hosting GOP House Members and GOP senators at the White House Wednesday where they celebrated the passage of the trillion-dollar tax cuts he promised the voters. Something finally went Trump's way and he had no one to blame. He looked lost.
House and Senate Republicans passed the tax cut bill, which will drive a stake into the heart of Obamacare. The program's been jinxed since website's roll-out disaster four years ago. I once went on the website and tried to enroll in Obamacare and I wound up watching porn for forty-five minutes.
Rosie O'Donnell offered GOP senators two million to vote against the tax cuts. It recalled her promise last year to leave the U.S. if Trump won. Only one Hollywood actress has made good on her promise to leave the U.S. if Trump got elected, and Prince Harry couldn't marry her unless she did.
Congress passed the tax cuts Wednesday night but had to pass the bill again the next morning for reasons no one understood. During the first vote, a woman protestor stood up in the gallery and exposed her breasts. That explains why the House decided to vote on the bill again the next morning.
-- Argus Hamilton
Liberal: "You can't say that. You're excluding other religions."
Liberal: "You can't say that. The word 'Holidays' originates from 'Holy Days', and religion must be out of the public view."
Liberal: "You can't say that. 'Happy Days' was a sitcom in the 1970s featuring a nearly all-white cast, which is not Diverse."
Me: "HAPPY!"
Liberal: "You can't say that. I'm a liberal, and I'm never happy."
Me: ""
Liberal: "Perfect."
-- Lazamataz/Free Republic

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