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Author Topic: Today's Toons 11/13/17  (Read 29 times)
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pookie18
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« on: November 13, 2017, 06:32:04 am »


 

 

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
Kevin Spacey was accused by eight young men of sexually harassing them on the set of House of Cards. It just never ends. At the Oscars next spring, Kevin Spacey's name will headline the long list of actors, directors and producers in the ceremony's new Might As Well Be in Memoriam segment.
 
New York City endured religious tensions last week following the ISIS-inspired terrorist truck attack on a bicycle path downtown. Everyone knows the drill by now. Today peaceful Muslims are gathering in lower Manhattan to protest racist remarks following next week's Islamic terrorist attack.
 
Los Angeles Dodgers legendary broadcaster Vin Scully told a Pasadena crowd Sunday he will never watch another NFL game due to the Anthem protests. He said he agreed with Trump. Now no one in Hollywood can remember why they were angry at Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein.
 
Yakov Smirnov's one-man special Happily Ever Laughter on PBS just won the PBS award for outstanding comedy special. Yakov had me open the show for him that evening at the theater in Beverly Hills. Now I am accused by Democrats of conspiring with the Russians to make people laugh.
 
The White House said President Trump will meet with Russian president Vladimir Putin at the Asian conference in Vietnam. The Russian leader seems a little too interested in U.S. politics. Vladimir Putin just awarded Hillary Clinton the Hero of the Soviet Union medal for election rigging.
 
Democratic National Committee former chairwoman Donna Brazile started a civil war inside the party when excerpts from her new book explained how Hillary's campaign rigged last year's Democratic primaries. Denny's just introduced a new breakfast called the Clinton Legacy. It's toast.
 
A DNC memo was leaked Thursday urging that no white men be hired to fill DNC office tech openings. The party's been completely feminized. In seventy-five years, Democrats have gone from fire-bombing Tokyo to cheering the guy who deactivated Trump's Twitter account for eleven minutes.
 
The Climate Prediction Center split Monday over whether this winter will be an El Nino or La Nina. Last year was a godsend. Since President Trump's election a year ago today, the seven-year drought in Los Angeles has been reduced by ninety-seven percent, and that's just from all the crying.
 
Hillary Clinton was accused in a book by Donna Brazile of rigging the Democratic primaries last year by gaining financial control over the DNC and its disbursements. In the Forbes survey she also fell from her perch as the world's second most powerful woman. Luckily she didn't break her hip.
 
ABC News reports Harvey Weinstein hired an elite detective agency run by former spies to dig up dirt on women who accused him of sexual misconduct. It's not his year. Last night, Harvey Weinstein shoved his new iPhone X in his back pocket and the facial recognition unlocked the phone.
 
President Trump spoke to South Korea and hailed western values such as free markets, private enterprise and free speech. It sounded quaint. A poll last week revealed that only fifty percent of U.S. college students believe in free speech, and the rest believe that government should pay for speech.
 
The Labor Department reports unemployment is at its lowest level in seventeen years and the applications for food stamps are way down. That's good for our self-esteem. Getting food stamps for doing nothing is like being paid one hundred seventy-four thousand dollars a year to sit in Congress.
 
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones hired Harvey Weinstein's lawyer to help him oust the NFL commissioner over the way he's handled the Anthem controversy. Let's get this straight. The same lawyer is after the commissioner for allowing a knee while defending a producer for requiring a knee.
 
Michigan's state legislature on Wednesday passed a bill that would allow church ushers to be armed at houses of worship in order to protect the congregation. It's definitely an idea whose time has come. This Sunday's gospel reading will be from the book of Matthew, Mark, Smith and Wesson.
 
President Trump arrived in China Tuesday where he and Melania were given a lavish official state dinner in Beijing. The press didn't let up on him. The first night in his hotel room, Trump ordered steak and mushrooms, and CNN accused him of animal abuse and threatening a nuclear war.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 
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