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Author Topic: Today's Toons 7/3/17  (Read 71 times)
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pookie18
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« on: July 03, 2017, 04:19:59 am »


 

 

 

 

 

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
The Los Angeles Times reports that California ski resorts still have a nine-foot snowpack after a record winter snowfall. The resorts plan to host snow skiers into August. It turns out that Global Warming is produced by the same computer model which gave sub-prime mortgages a Triple-A rating.
 
President Trump gave a speech in Cedar Rapids Wednesday and confided that he may top the Mexican border wall with solar panels. It forces Democrats to choose between clean energy and blocking new Democrats from entering America. It's been five days and they're still thinking it over.
 
The Hollywood Reporter took note Sunday of the growing number of stars who've joked about killing the president and asked if the stars are just using Trump to promote their careers. Last week in England, Johnny Depp joked about assassinating President Trump. It'd be his first hit in five years.
 
Senate Democrats worked hard to save Obamacare this week. So far, anger over Obamacare has cost the Democrats the House, Senate and White House. If the Apocalypse were Barack Obama's signature achievement, Democrats would be extolling the virtues of Death, Famine, War and Conquest.
 
Hillary Clinton took to Twitter Monday to weigh in on the GOP Senate health care bill which is up for a vote this week. Hillary declared that if the GOP Senate plan passed, the Republicans will be the party of death. This is so insulting to all the dead people who voted for her last November.
 
Democratic Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi led the Democratic opposition to the GOP health care plan. The hyperbole got way out of hand. No, the GOP health care plan does not bring back medicinal leeches and give them a trillion dollar tax break.
 
President Trump hailed the Supreme Court decision Monday which allows the administration to restrict the flow of people between terror ridden nations and the United States. It doesn't solve the humanitarian crisis. Just last week, Syria offered to take in ten thousand refugees from Chicago.
 
The Supreme Court upheld Trump's refugee ban from six terror-ridden nations Monday. The administration has come up with a test to give refugees to see if they are culturally, economically and educationally compatible with living peacefully in America. It's called the Bacon Sandwich Test.
 
Barack Obama might have to testify in the U.S. Senate after reports he was warned last August of attempts by Russia to meddle in the U.S. election and did nothing. His attorney general Loretta Lynch may be called. When Democrats set out to get the president, they should've been more specific.
 
Senate Democrats took to the well to cling ferociously to Obamacare Tuesday. Its unintended high premiums and high deductibles cost them the House, Senate and White House. Obamacare was apparently created by the same computer model that gave junk bonds a AAA rating ten years ago.
 
Nancy Pelosi told reporters about her first meeting with President Trump at an Oval Office brunch. She revealed he served pigs in a blanket and kosher meatballs. You can tell the president is serious about the travel ban when both items on his lunch menu are in direct confrontation with Islam.
 
Barack Obama in an interview Monday attacked the GOP Senate health care plan and urged his fellow Democrats to stand strongly for Obamacare. It doesn't look good for his presidency's signature achievement. Denny's just introduced a new breakfast called The Obama Legacy, it's toast.
 
CNN made news Wednesday by using the Sesame Street puppet Elmo in a TV panel discussion attacking President Trump's ban on refugees from six terrorist-ridden nations. They're down to using puppets. Today's media attack against the president is brought to you by the letters W, T and F.
 
CNN producer Jon Bonifield was caught on hidden camera saying there's been no evidence of Trump collusion with Russia. He admitted he's been ordered by CEO Jeff Zucker to keep up the accusations for ratings. Today in Central Park, a rattlesnake bit a CNN host and died from the venom.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 
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