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Author Topic: Today's Toons 4/17/17  (Read 24 times)
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pookie18
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« on: April 17, 2017, 04:13:06 am »


 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
U.S. Navy ships in the eastern Mediterranean Thursday fired fifty-nine Tomahawk missiles into Syria after the Navy captains and crews received direct orders by video from the President of the United States. What was the last thing President Trump said to the Tomahawk missiles? You're fired.
 
President Trump gave a televised address from his Mar-a-Lago estate on Thursday explaining his pre-emptive U.S. missile attack on Syria. A message was definitely delivered. The backstage manager just knocked on North Korea's dressing room door and told them five minutes till show time.
 
Rush Limbaugh coined the term Snowflakes to describe Millennial voters who refuse to accept the election of Trump. No generation was more coddled. I often wonder if Joseph and Mary had a bumper sticker on the back of their donkey that read, My Son Is God at Nazareth Elementary School.
 
The L.A. Times accused President Trump of marginalizing people of color with policies. That's how they roll. An optimist sees the glass as half-full, a pessimist sees the glass as half-empty, and a writer for the L.A. Times sees the glass as symptomatic of the institutional racism in American society.
 
President Trump launched a missile attack on a Syrian air force base in reprisal for President Bashar al-Assad's dropping nerve gas on villagers. The attack was praised everywhere except in Hollywood. Donald Trump could kill Hitler and Hollywood would accuse him of being a Germaphobe.
 
Senate Democrats were righteously indignant over Neil Gorsuch's vote after they themselves set a precedent and suspended the sixty-vote rule for judges four years ago. It was ever thus on Capitol Hill. Washington D.C. is like Hollywood in that a clear conscience is likely to be an early sign of Alzheimer's.
 
Hillary Clinton spoke to Democratic groups last week and she continued referring to the dark forces arrayed against her during last year's election. She also likes to attend Broadway shows. Last week, Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Les Miserables because she was bringing the audience down.
 
California reported an alarming rise in crime this year on Friday, sparking debate over why. It's no secret why. So many California inmates have been ordered released that the only thing that can land you in jail now is wearing a Make America Great Again cap to a Berkeley free speech rally.
 
President Trump held a joint press conference with NATO's Secretary General Wednesday on the heels of his stunning twelve-point jump in job approval rating in the polls. It was a textbook comeback. United Airlines has just decided to bomb Syria in an attempt to win back the public's trust.
 
President Trump laid out his economic plans for a better business climate in the U.S. Wednesday in an interview with Fox Business News. He doesn't just want lower taxes. President Trump wants fewer regulations, which is great news for everybody who isn't a quarterback standing in the pocket.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi.
 
-- Conan
 
--------------------------------------------------------------
 
During a recent Trump stop, a heckler from the audience hollered, "Hey Trump, where are you hiding your tax returns?"
 
The Donald politely responded, "I've found a very secure place that I'm certain they won't be found".
 
The insistent heckler, then shouted, "And just where is that, dummy"?
 
The Donald smiled and said, "They are underneath Obama's college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration".
 
"What's your next question?"
 
 
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